


Who The Fuck is Dan Egan?

by Charlie_Parker



Category: Veep
Genre: Dan is still a fuckup of a human, F/M, I love veep as much as the next Gary Walsh, Lets call that wdes, Not sure if I'll have much nasty, OC was pregnant at 16, Only nastiness I can guarantee 100/100 is potty mouthedness, This.Is.WASHINGTON DC, Write Drunk Edit Sober, also mentions of prostituiton, brief mention of Silicon Valley, escorts and such, that's what the underage tag is for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-16 13:20:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7269931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie_Parker/pseuds/Charlie_Parker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan Egan is a bastard. No one is denying that. Not even his wife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Know What You Did 20 Years Ago

Dan Egan was not expecting to answer the Vice President’s question with such honesty upon becoming her campaign manager. Of course, he had first asked her the same question- were there any skeletons in her closet he needed to know about now that he was managing her campaign. Surprisingly, the answer she gave was very vanilla compared to his. Dan froze up and he heard a girl’s voice in his head crying and the same girl’s voice now a woman’s still crying and screaming at him.  
“I…” He looked behind to the now, future, and possible Madam President “I killed a dog once. It was a dare.” He swallowed his pride and looked at Selina Meyer.  
“You killed a dog?” She asked quietly. Boy, if this shocked her, what would she say about the rest of it?  
“My wife’s.” He muttered as he dropped his gaze to his knees.  
“Your what?!”  
Dan repeated himself but this time imitated Bruno.  
“You’re married?” Selina was beyond shocked.  
“Dan Aiken is.” He said “I changed my name to Egan after we got married.”  
“Why?”  
“Because she got pregnant before.”  
“So?”  
“She was sixteen at the time. I was 18. There was no way I could have a political career.”  
“Wait-“ Selina made a small face. She obviously did not approve “but you’ve slept around with, I mean just, dozens of women this year alone, right? Do you guys still talk? Are you two estranged? What’s the story? What’s the situation?”  
“It’s a really long story.” Dan had to warn her. The story could get confusing and long, and he didn’t know Selina to have the virtue of patience.  
“Fuck, then, just tell me what’s going on now.” She groaned and rolled her eyes.  
“We’re still married. Her name is Anna-Beth Gilles Aiken. She works as a nurse at the BridgePoint Hospital. Our son, Noah Aiken, is in his first year of college at the American University. I don’t know what the fuck he’s doing, he won’t talk to either of us.” Dan was hiding how much that hurt him with a seeming soullessness quality.  
“I’m sorry. What happened? Did you force him into a major, or something?”  
“No, he found out about the dog and how we went through economically supporting our family when moving to DC.”  
“Oh no.” Selina murmured, “What did you do?”  
“I assure you, this is well under wraps, no one will find out. Not even my mother knows. I promise I am the best campaign mana-“  
“Dan, what the fuck did you do?” Her voice was ominous.  
“Annie became an escort while balancing the books at nurse school while I was trying to make it in DC.” He met Selina’s gaze carefully.  
“What…the fuck.” Selina’s eyes were wide and Dan feared getting fired- or worse, people in DC finding out about his family.  
“No one knows, okay? No one.”  
“No one better know, Egan.” That was definitely a threat “I need you out. I don’t even know what to do with you. Fuck!” Selina thought she was going to get laid tonight. Apparently she thought wrong, because she hadn’t expected Dan to be a family man with a murder record of killing dogs and getting teenagers pregnant.  
“Please, don’t tell anyone. My record would be fucked. I couldn’t get a job anywhere.” He begged.  
“Just get out.”  
Dan walked himself out of the incumbent president’s office with a heavy sigh and went through his phone to find the contact ‘MJ #1’ an innocuous yet endearing reference to his wife. Walking out of the West Wing, he could hear the dull chiming of the line being called with his phone pressed to his ear.

Not too far from the Capitol Building in the BridgePoint Hospital, Nurse Gilles answered her phone as she paced around the halls in her very conservative white sketchers. There’d been a pile-up on the highway and there were at least ten people in critical condition in the E.R. “Egan?” She asked, picking up her phone as she was pacing rapidly to the emergency room. She’d known him longer as an Egan than an Aiken  
“Yeah, Selina knows.”  
“So? I thought you’re already hired. As long as she’s the only one who knows she can’t exactly fire you.”  
“That would be fine if I didn’t just make campaign manager.”  
“Shit, Dan.” Annie had been hoping he would stay in DC and not get that promotion he wanted. He rarely spent time at home with her anymore.  
“You’re the one who took up more hospital hours.”  
“You’re the one who told me I should! Look, Dan, I don’t have time to argue right now. Some huge accident happened and it’s an all hands on deck situation.”  
“Maybe I can visit you?”  
“No you can’t. What am I supposed to tell my colleagues? ‘Hey, this is Dan Egan, he’s my actual husband. The one in Silicon Valley isn’t real, seriously, who would name their company Pied Piper?’” Sarcasm was dripping from her voice.  
“Okay, fine, I know, dumb idea.” He conceded  
“I don’t know when I’ll be home, okay?” She sighed, leaning against the wall.  
Dan knew what this meant “Okay, I’ll keep the porch light on for you.”  
“Thank you, baby.” She murmured, a sad smile on her lips.  
“Yeah.” Dan had stopped on his way to his car, standing to the side of the exit of the building. Despite leading people to believe he had none, Dan’s heart ached. And what did Dan do best when he felt negative emotions? He said dastardly things. “Bet you wish you’d had that abortion right about now.” He smiled a little, a fake and hollow smile. It was what he called his work smile.  
Thankfully, Annie saw through that jab at her “Don’t be an idiot, Egan. I’m the greatest good you’re ever gonna get.” She hung up with a small smile on her lips. It felt nice knowing Dan hurt as much as she did from this prolonged separation.


	2. She Has A Masters Degree...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you're enjoying the story. I have a few things to tell you guys before we go further- this fic is entirely me writing without checking a lot of what I write and it's just to let the inner 'writer rebel' in me hang loose. I usually restrict myself with lots of rules of writing and blah blah blah, but this fic is really for me to just do whatever I want to do with the story. That being said, if you like what I'm doing I do appreciate kudos and the like but if it's all the same to you, I really love hearing what people have to say in comments. I'm a total attention whore so if you have the time for it, drop me a comment on my chapter/story. It could be a criticism or a comment, what you would like to see (one thing that I like about this fic is I have no idea where it's going. It's my personal trainwreck), what would you like to know more about, and just your general reactions to the story. If you read my other works, this goes for those as well. TL;DR- This is my shitfic please leave comments.

It was a quarter to one and Annie Aiken was pumped, driving down the main road to go home, she couldn’t help but revel in her latest success. Not only did no one die on her watch but she also personally assisted in three major surgeries in the aftermath of the pileup. She had literally held a five-year-old's heart in her hands and felt it beat.   
“Fuck it.” She murmured, seeing the time on her dashboard, reaching into her purse and pulling out her phone. She was too excited “Dan?” She called him up, phone to her ear and both hands on the wheel.  
“Annie?” Came her husband’s disgruntled voice. He’d obviously been asleep “Are you okay?”  
“I am more than okay, baby, be ready when I get home. You said you had to go to Detroit, right?”  
“Yeah, in a few days. And between now and then I’ll be in the office all day.” He had figured she would want him to stay home until the trip.  
“Stay up. Get out the ice cream from the freezer. Put some music on, I’m on my way home.” She smiled widely, her voice giddy.  
“You’re crazy.” Dan smiled and had to yawn, standing up in their bed, stretching out. “If I pass out at work I’m blaming it on you and drinking as many Red Bulls as I can.”  
“You know you can’t handle energy drinks that are harder than Powerade, babe. Just stay up. I’m done not seeing you and your…and your pretty face.”  
“I have a pretty face?” Dan gave a half-cocked smile, turning on the lights in his home and looking around.   
“I can’t think right now, Danny. I am way too excited. God, I am awesome!” She smiled widely, laughing.  
“Tell me all about it when you get home, okay? I want to hear all about it.”  
“Talk to you later, babe.” She smiled and hung up as Dan was saying goodbye to her.

“How much time do I have to get out of here?” Came a familiar womanly voice from behind Dan.  
Dan Egan turned around to look at Amy Brookheimer, a sheet clinging to her body held up by her hand.  
“She’ll probably be here in fifteen or so.” Pretending Amy couldn’t figure out he was in a committed relationship.  
“Why don’t you have any pictures of her?” Amy asked   
Dan rose a brow and replied in a voice only Work Dan could speak in “Just shut up and get dressed, okay?”  
Amy shrugged, expecting this kind of assholery from him and went upstairs. Part of her understood Dan’s hurtful words as punishment directed to her for coming back to such a dick for dick. At least it wasn’t Jonah.

When Amy came downstairs with her shoes in hand, she found Dan with a red face leaning against the sofa’s back, his head bowed from what she could tell. He wasn’t facing her. Instead, who he was facing was also looking in the same direction to see Amy. Annie was home.


	3. ...in Disappointment

“Who the fuck is this one, Dan?” Annie asked with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised high.  
“Amy.”  
“Amy Brookheimer?” She asked, stealing a glance to the other woman.  
“Yeah.” He nodded.  
“I thought you already got what you needed from her.” She snapped at Dan.  
“You knew?” Amy piped up. They had one date a few years ago and whoever this girl was knew about it? What’s more, whoever she was, has been with Dan for that long?  
“Of course I knew, sweetheart.” She said the nicety with a little bit of a kick to the ass. In the same way a Piña Colada is sweet and also if it’s loaded enough will kick your ass drunk. “You mean you don’t know who I am? Oh, I guess nobody does. I’m only known for being married to a guy that doesn’t even exist.” She hissed at Dan mostly. “So what is this?” She looked between the two with arms crossed.  
Dan shrugged and suggested “Night cap?”  
“Go fuck yourself, Dan.” Annie snapped.  
Amy was starting to get confused. Why wasn’t Annie directing her anger towards her? “Am I good?” Amy asked, having to wave with her Blackberry in hand.  
“Did you know?” Annie rose a brow and leaned over to look at her.  
“About you? Wouldn’t’ve guessed in a million years.”  
“Yeah then you can go. I don’t care about you.” She nodded her chin over her shoulder in her own way of showing Amy the door. “You didn’t leave anything right?”  
“No, ma’am.”  
“Don’t call me ma’am. I didn’t hire you and I’m younger than you.” Annie was speaking sternly. When the door closed she let out a strong exhale “What am I gonna do with you?” She murmured, looking at Dan. Her past buzz was sizzled out.  
All Dan did was give a small shrug.  
“It’s not like I can do a thing when you’re not wearing a shirt.” She grumbled, stealing a quick look down to her Kryptonite. “You know I’m disappointed, right?”  
This had happened so many times before that she didn’t bother fighting with him about it. They spent increasingly less time together and she didn’t want to spend that time fighting with him. Besides, she knew Dan. She was confident that he loved her and only her.  
“Yeah, I know.” He murmured. Inside, Annie knew he only did it because he was bored and needed some company.  
“At least when you sleep around make sure it’s with someone that will get you somewhere in your career. We could use a little more money.” She rested her thumb and her forefinger on the bridge of her nose.  
“Actually,” Dan looked down at his shoes and raised his head with a small smile “with my new promotion comes a little bit of a raise.”  
“Really?” She smiled.   
“Really.”  
“Good. I kind of forgive you then.”  
“Then I kind of still want to stay up and spend some time with you.” He smiled, thinking he had managed a way back in with her and slid his arms around her waist, resting on top of her hips and keeping his chin on her shoulder.   
Annie hugged him back “Then there better be enough booze in the cabinet.”


	4. Don't Be An Apricot, Egan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know it's been a while, much longer than anticipated, at least. This chapter is mostly still a set up about their relationship. In the next chapter I'm bending time a little and placing it for Mike's wedding a few days before the Detroit visit. Listening to some music I've gotten big ideas for this story and I might upgrade it from shitfic to slightly-shit-fic? Anyway, here's the playlist. Some choices are obvious (50 Ways to Leave Your Lover) and some are really just a set-up or for the tone of the story now or later. If anyone wants to make a digital playlist please put a link in the comments :) I'll update the playlist ever so often if that interests you guys!  
> "Heart Starts" Matt Nathanson  
> "Something I Need" OneRepublic  
> "Death Valley" Fall Out Boy  
> "Never Gonna Leave This Bed" Maroon 5  
> "For The First Time" The Script  
> "Death by Chocolate" Sia  
> "Until You're Over Me" Maroon 5  
> "Teenage Dream" Katy Perry  
> "Misery" Maroon 5  
> "Stay Stay Stay" Taylor Swift  
> "Must Get Out" Maroon 5  
> "The Mighty Fall (feat. Big Sean)" Fall Out Boy  
> "Walk Away (feat. B.o.B)" The Script  
> "Don't Let Me Down" The Beatles  
> "You Make Loving Fun" Fleetwood Mac  
> "One More Night" Maroon 5  
> "Material Girl" Madonna  
> "Like A Virgin" Madonna  
> "Tyrant" OneRepublic  
> "Nothing" The Script  
> "Lucky Strike" Maroon 5  
> "Mine" Taylor Swift  
> "Harder to Breathe" Maroon 5  
> "When I'm Sixty-Four" The Beatles  
> "Falling Slowly (American Idol Studio Version)" Lee DeWyze & Crystal Bowersox  
> "Go Your Own Way" Fleetwood Mac  
> "Take All The Time You Need" Oh Honey  
> "She Will Be Loved" Maroon 5  
> "Hallelujah (American Idol Studio Version)" Lee DeWyze  
> "Where Did The Party Go" Fall Out Boy  
> "Sparks Fly" Taylor Swift  
> "Must Get Out" Maroon 5  
> "Mercy" Duffy  
> "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" Simon & Garfunkel  
> "How" Maroon 5  
> "Wasted Years" Maroon 5  
> "Iris" The Goo Goo Dolls  
> "Hands All Over" Maroon 5  
> "Wedding Dress" Matt Nathanson  
> "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" The Script  
> "Papa Don't Preach" Madonna  
> "Bitch" Meredith Brooks  
> "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Nirvana  
> "Fast Car" Tracy Chapman  
> "Drive By" Train  
> "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" Cage The Elephant

“Do you remember the government shut down?” She asked with a small smile, a glass of Cognac cradled in her hands.   
Behind her head, Annie felt the vibrations of her husband’s chest elicited by his voice. “I do.” She didn’t have to look at him to know there was a small and proud smile on his face.  
“I’d never seen you so focused on doing anything before.”  
“Then you really do not see me at work.”  
“You know you need to cool it with your work, right? It’s a job, not a life. I want to marry my husband and be able to see him too.”  
“You want to divorce Aiken?”  
“How would that even work? You changed your name, can you still sign for it?”  
Dan moved a little away from her, looking down at his wife a little stunned “You want to split up?”  
“No, of course not.” She sighed and looked up at him, leaning on the opposite end of the couch with her feet on his lap. “I just don’t want to be married to a ghost is all.” Annie looked into her glass glumly.  
“Baby, I know I’m a douchebag to you.” He spoke carefully “But we have done so much and taken so much shit to get to where we are today-“  
“So why does it matter if you’re married to me anyway? It’s not like the girls you sleep with care if you’re married or not. All they see is you.” She crossed her arms and looked him right in the face.  
“Because if Selina loses the election, I’m out of a job. That looks doubly worse if they find out about you or Noah.”  
“Right, I forgot, you’re ashamed of your son.” She huffed out and rolled her eyes, clearly displeased.  
“No, I’m not.” He said while clenching his jaw tightly “You know I’m not. You don’t have to be a bitch to me because he’s cut you off.”  
“Why do you think he doesn’t want to hear from us, Dan?” She snapped, looking at him with a raised brow.  
“Because you whored yourself and told him you were a waitress,” Dan said.  
“Fuck you.” She exhaled sharply through her nose. “You know everything I did when we got here was so you could get to where you are now.”  
“And I just need a little more time. Who knows, in a year’s time, all our shit will be together.” He said, trying to convince her and apologize for what he’d said and done.  
“A year?” Annie was not pleased with this figure and she clearly made it known. “Whatever, Dan. Seriously, whatever. Do whatever the fuck you want, fuck whoever the fuck you want. I’m going to bed.” She put her glass down and crossed the hall to go upstairs. “But first I have to take a shower.” She had to angrily pace to the other side of the small house.  
“Can I join?”  
“Only if you let me waterboard you, you stupid apricot marmalade.”  
Dan’s face pinched up and he looked confused, mouthing the words ‘Apricot marmalade’.  
“I meant Apricot Marmalaise!” She yelled out from the shower. She could feel his judging her words from halfway across the house.


End file.
